I Got You a Rock for Christmas
by Harrenwolf
Summary: "i got u a rock for christmas :DD" "…What?" USUK Oneshot


**Pairings: USUK, implied Franada**  
 **Setting: Human AU**  
 **Length: One-shot**  
 **Genre: Fluff**  
 **Warnings: Guy x guy, author is an idiot**  
 **Notes: First fic posted here, please critique!**

* * *

 _Ping._

Arthur Kirkland glanced away from his computer screen to and saw that he had received a text. From his boyfriend, Alfred, it seemed. Picking up his cellphone surreptitiously and turning it on vibrate (he was still at work, after all!), the blond prayed that his beloved idiot hadn't set the house ablaze or something. Who knows, it could happen. Warily entering his password, he read the short message, then arched a massive eyebrow and read it again.

"i got u a rock for christmas :DD" stared him in the face. Arthur didn't know quite how to react. He typed the first response that came to his mind.

"…What?"

As his brain gradually started up again, Arthur was bursting with incredulous questions. Who gives a bloody rock as a Christmas present? Why would anyone tell their recipient what their present is two days in advance? Was Alfred drunk? Or has he finally lost it? Why would anyone ever give their boyfriend what is essentially a hardened piece of dirt for Christmas?

 _Maybe…he forgot to buy you a present this year?_ A small voice whispered in the back of Arthur's mind. _Perhaps he has just decided this last minute. Perhaps he didn't believe this present was important…perhaps he doesn't think you're important?_

No! Arthur shook his head, hard. He will _not_ think that. He must not. There has to be a reason. Perhaps this is just another one of Alfred's pranks. Yes, that's it, Alfred must be chuckling to himself right now, thinking that he has fallen for it! His real present is still waiting for him. Arthur smirked, triumphant at seeing through Alfred's little tricks. His phone vibrated and Arthur glanced down to read the newest message.

"it's a rlly nice rock! i picked it specially for u!"

"I see," Arthur typed in response with a tolerant smile. "It better be good."

"i think you'll love it artie ;)))"

Huh. If he didn't know better, Arthur would have truly believed Alfred. Anyhow, he has spent far too long texting already. This analysis needed to be finished by the end of the day. With a quick "Later xx", the blond put his boyfriend's strange antics to the back of his mind and turned back to his computer.

* * *

Following an afternoon of crazed last-minute Christmas shopping — for Alfred, of course, Arthur would never leave something so late — and a dinner the next day with Matthew and Francis, Arthur collapsed into bed exhausted on Christmas eve. Of course, Matthew, Alfred's brother, was an absolute sweetheart as always. Francis, Arthur's best friend/worst enemy was an entirely different story. From thanking Arthur for having the good sense to remain far away from the preparation of the meal to slyly mocking Arthur's inability to hold his liquor, Arthur had enough of Francis for the rest of the year. Thankfully, he wouldn't have to deal with them until next year, if things go well. There was something that Francis had said, however…

"Gah, turn that off!" Blinded by the sudden painfully blinding light, Arthur threw a pillow somewhere in Alfred's direction and rolled over, away from the blazing torture. "I'm trying to sleep here, you idiot!"

"Sorry sorry!" The light left as quickly as it came. Arthur felt Alfred climb into the the bed and press a chaste kiss to his lips before bidding him goodnight.

"Goodnight," Arthur murmured. _I can't wait 'till he sees his presents tomorrow_ , he thought as he drifted to sleep.

* * *

"Merry Christmas, Artie! Wake up!" Alfred still had all the excitement of a young child as he shook Arthur awake just after sunrise the next morning. Blinking bleary eyes, Arthur was faced with bright blue eyes framed by golden hair, forming a messy halo in the sunlight. _He looked almost like an angel_ , Arthur thought, and could not resist giving him a quick kiss before climbing out of bed. Alfred recovered quickly from his surprise and bounded after Arthur to the living room like an oversized golden retriever until they stood beneath the Christmas tree.

"Here." Arthur handed the other blond a simple white envelope and fidgeted slightly, suddenly uncertain and self-conscious.

Without further ado, Alfred opened the envelope to reveal two sheets of letter-size paper. "They're receipts…to plane tickets," Alfred realized, eyes wide.

"I thought we could spend the holidays with my family in England." Finding it too awkward to maintain eye contact, Arthur dropped his gaze to the papers Alfred held. "I know you haven't seen your parents in a while, so I invited them too, and I would have invited Matthew, and Francis as well I suppose, but they had already planned to go skiing in the Rockies and the timing wasn't quite right—"

Arthur was wrapped in Alfred's hug before he could continue rambling. "Thank you," Alfred breathed into his ear. Arthur released a breath he didn't know he was holding and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend as well.

He wasn't sure how long the embrace lasted, but before he knew it, Alfred was pulling out a dark blue box slightly larger than his hand and holding it out to him. "Open it." Alfred smiled with mischievous anticipation. "I hope you'll enjoy my rock as much as I enjoyed your tickets."

Wait, what? Arthur's mind screeched to a halt. Had Alfred _actually_ gotten him a rock? Francis' mysterious statement from last night floated to the front of his thoughts again. "Ah, it's _such_ a shame that I cannot be there to witness the moment when you see Alfred's present for you," he had remarked, an arrogantly knowing look in his eyes. The size of the box and care with which Alfred was handling it would support that theory—that the only thing waiting for him this Christmas was a rock. Disappointment washed over him, which he did his best not to show. Looking into expectant blue eyes, Arthur realized that this couldn't have been a last-minute choice. A lot of effort must have gone into this present. Composing himself, Arthur was determined not to let his opinions affect Alfred, who is obviously hoping that he would love whatever rock he had chosen. Taking a deep breath, Arthur opened the box and his heart briefly stopped.

Inside the box lay a ring. Hands shaking, Arthur picked up the simple silver band. A square diamond was set in the centre, level with the rest of the ring. Stunned, he slowly looked up at Alfred to meet nervous, but determined blue eyes. Arthur registered that he was saying something and struggled to focus.

"…and you've always been by my side. Remember when we were fighting that time? Kay, I guess we fought a whole bunch of times, but that time when I said only an idiot would marry you? Well, I guess you were right after all, and I'm an idiot. And I want to be _your_ idiot." At this, Alfred knelt down on one knee and Arthur had to blink to clear his blurry vision. When had he started crying?

"So, Arthur Kirkland, will you marry me?" Alfred asked, uncharacteristically serious. Only when the resolve in those clear blue eyes started to morph into mortification did Arthur realize that he had been in shock for far too long.

"Yes! Yes, you idiot…my idiot," Arthur threw himself into Alfred's arms and sniffed into his shoulder. Alfred pulled him into a gentle kiss, and Arthur expressed with actions what he could not in words. "I love you," Alfred murmured as they slowly pulled away from their kiss, gently brushing away tears from Arthur's face. Embarrassed by his crying, Arthur turned away and examined the ring on his finger, but not before muttering "I love you too, idiot."

Standing up and extending a hand to Arthur, Alfred flashed him a stunning grin. "I was right! I knew you'd love my rock!" Huffing in amused frustration, Arthur batted away the offered hand and stood up by himself. "Yes," the shorter blond admitted. "Thank you for the wonderful rock, idiot. Thank you for the best Christmas of my life." "Oh, don't be so sure this will be the best Christmas of your life, Artie!" Alfred exclaimed. "I see more awesome Christmases coming in the the future!"

As he followed Alfred into the kitchen, Arthur smiled to himself. Who would have thought the best Christmas present that he has ever received would be a rock?

* * *

 **Arthur's—I mean, author's notes: Started yesterday, did my best to finish in time for Christmas. I cannot count the number of times I read "you'll enjoy my [something else]" instead of "rock", if you get what I mean xD. Inspiration from my classmate, who had recently referred to diamond rings as "rocks on our fingers" a few days ago. Please critique! What did you like? What did you not like? Did everything make sense? Are the paragraph breaks alright? Did you figure out the truth before the reveal? Is the ending as horrible as I feel it is? (Whoops didn't mean to dump all those questions, I'll shut up now!) Please let me know in that big box below!**


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